Ever since the execrable Laundry Elf Massacre of 2006,
my lot has gotten much harder.
Effing Dishwasher Dwarves and Vaccum Chimeras and their insatiable need for random beheadings and household domination.
Their bloodlust has resulted in constant heaps of wrinkled fabric splayed across the carpet, awaiting my attention.
Effing, effing, effing.
The creatures are mythical, as is the notion of a clean home.
Ok I seriously need some Laundry Elves .... Oh OH and some clean the toilet fairies ... please :)
ReplyDeletemy laundry elves have started a band, they practice in the garage and drink all my beer all the time. ... laundry elves.
ReplyDeleteI know not of this farce that you speak. This "clean home" must surely be a myth of your imagination.
ReplyDeletedid those cursed beasts who plagued me with 15 loads of BO/swampwater/camp laundry escape my dungeon and come wreak havoc on you? i am so sorry.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1XTBESG4BQ
ReplyDeletejust sayin' :)
I hear you sista! And I don't even have kids.
ReplyDeleteElves? You had laundry elves?
ReplyDeleteClean house is a myth. A cruel urban legend.
My kids do the laundry I put it away. It's not perfect but it keeps the piles contained somewhat.
ReplyDeleteSoccer Mom morphs into Laundry Ace. I have pets, a girl child, and various manchildren running through my house. It hasn't been clean since 1992 when we moved into our brand new house. For shame! I said to myself. I just try not to get too worked up about it. Now if the rats move indoors, then I know it'll be time for a housecleaning, heh, heh.
ReplyDeleteLooks my my house.
ReplyDeleteAnd did someone say toilet fairies???? Hello!!!
i am thinking I'll just wait for school to start. at that poinht, it will have been three months since I felt caught up
ReplyDeleteDo your elves wander around after you, dogging your footsteps, creating order after chaos in your wake? Mine do.
ReplyDeleteSoon they will all go to school, to become literate elves and chimeras and I will get to enjoy hours of looking at what I've just cleaned.
And I will miss them terribly.
Perhaps.
Clean home? Those only excist on tv.
ReplyDeleteI think we should all stop fighting it and just let it take over :)
ReplyDeleteWho let you in to my house???! That's exactly what I have going on here, too. I'd trade a boob for someone to do my laundry every day. Really. I would.
ReplyDeleteOh, come on, they don't look that dirty. Just Febreze and wear, and you'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteI think you'll find that if you wear your magic fairy pants* (with added sparkle dust for really itchy magic), the housework will do itself. Or, if it doesn't, you can always remove the pants and dust the furniture with them - there's something liberating about naked housework.
ReplyDeletePuss
* I believe that's 'panties' to you, otherwise you'll think I meant trousers, and only the Pan himself can wear the magic fairy trousers...