"Kindergarten Sous Chef"
If I do no other good in this life, at least I have had a part in creating this one:
He didn't want to speak because the onion fumes irritated his mouth--this in addition to his eyes and nose, but he didn't have a "gaping maw" goggle on hand.
Since he's certainly not getting off the hook as my kitchen helper, I guess we know what to get him next Christmas.
A mouth plug.